How I Found My Self During My Slump
Updated: Nov 25, 2018
Recently I went through a low season. I wasn’t feeling like the usual happy and active girl that loved to spend time with family and friends. I stayed in bed all day, fell into a daze while watching TV, not taking up my mom’s offers to get my nails done, and diving deeper and deeper into this unfamiliar person. I literally felt my soul aching.
2017 was filled with many new type of low points in my life, some of which were guiding me on the path towards new blessings. I was laid off, applied to and experienced what seemed like hundreds of rejections, had surgery where I couldn’t do any physical activity for weeks, had to relocate back home after leaving behind my beautiful apartment in the city and finally ending and recovering from a toxic situationship.
I noticed I was having negative thoughts and feelings from all the rejection I was experiencing. And social media wasn’t helping. I saw people around me getting married, having babies, buying homes, and living their best lives. But that’s what social media is all about. It’s a snapshot of people’s lives, or the lives they wish to portray. When you’re the curator of your social media, you highlight the good and fun times! I realized that these same people getting married could be having fights with their significant other about who’s paying for what, the pregnancies that are happy surprises, and the stresses of buying a home, and at the end of the day, everyone experiences all types of stresses.
One day, that same thought helped me snap out of my slump. I literally got out of bed, and sat outside to get some fresh air and sun. I turned away from social media and tried my best to block out the negative thoughts and began working on me and thinking positive thoughts. I took things one day at a time: washed my face and did a skin care treatment. The next day I did the same and put on makeup. The following day, I did everything from before and then put on a cute outfit. One day at a time to get back to Jessica.
During this time, I attempted to think about why these things happened, and why I was being directed to a different path. I was always a strong believer in God Winks and everything happening for a reason.
I was laid off about three weeks before I had to have major surgery. I decided it was best to break my lease, give away most of my belongings to charity and move back home. I was out for 6 weeks. I could recover in the comfort of home with the help of my parents. If I was recovering in my apartment, it would have been miserable and lonely. And because of my donations, many families probably have some nice furniture, and at the end of the day, those material things could be replaced.
What caused me to really snap out of my slump was the fact that I was a few short months away from 30 and I had a few friends who will never see 30. I was taking for granted living and enjoying every single day. Yes, I was unemployed and living in a new area where I knew no one. But I was breathing and around my main support system. I felt selfish and ashamed.
So, I created/updated my self-care and appreciation routine:
· Sitting outside, getting fresh air and allowing sunlight to hit my face
· daily scripture readings
· positive self talk
· writing
· drinking good coffee
· unfollowing negative accounts on social media and being conscious of what I absorb
· bubble baths
· trying out new face masks (revamped skincare routine too!)
· getting back to the gym and sweating it out
· meditation
· restarting the “Jessica Dates” aka “me time”
· and most importantly, talking to someone
I was embarrassed I had such negative thoughts. There are days where negative thoughts will slip in my mind, or self-doubt creeps up as I’m trying out new projects. But it takes practice to proactively stop these thoughts and not let them take over. I encourage you to create a self-care routine or do one thing every week that speaks to your soul!
Mental Health, is Nothing to Be Embarrassed About. Talk or write it out. You are not alone!
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, you are not alone. Many people experience similar struggles, and there are resources available to help. During a crisis, you might feel like things will never change. Contacting a mental health crisis hotline is a good way to begin reaching out for much-needed support. But if you are afraid that you or someone you know might hurt themselves or someone else, call 911 immediately.
(Originally posted via my Medium page!)
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